The F-Word section is dedicated to critical thoughts and opinions. The F-Word stands for Farang Word in this case since a lot of issues are usually “solved” by saying we have different cultural backgrounds. Sometimes that just doesn’t do the trick. We try to show some problems – and maybe even get people to think about those things mentioned. The F-Word might be a bit provocative or sarcastic at times – it is however not meant to offend anyone. Those issues are just being raised because we care – if we wouldn’t care, we would simply stay quiet.
Thailand to save the environment one plastic bag at a time
Riding on the success of it’s latest genius implementation of the ‘frog 4 life traffic lights‘ campaign Thailand is on fire right now and starts the Thai new year off with another, even more drastic and dramatic solution to one of the countries biggest problems as of yet. Thailand capped of the old year by introducing rules that will safe lots of electricity and money by getting rid of pedestrian traffic lights (and those pesky pedestrians) and now, with the new Thai year just having taken off, the land of smile is about to implement another rule that will not only affect us here but also ‘help the whole world’ and ‘will be seen as an example for others to follow’ according to several spokes persons. The introduction on April 22 is, of course, also no coincidence. “It’s Earth Day after all”.
Fighting Global Warming
As we all know global warming is a huge problem of our time. Bernie Sanders called it the biggest threat to humanity and if the only non-psycho former US presidential candidate says so, we know there must be some truth to it. Now how does Thailand plan to fight global warming? Well let’s briefly think about aspects in which Thailand treats the environment like shit. Yes, only three for now. The rest later. The issues that jump to most people’s minds are
- excessive use of air-condition
- excessive use of plastic bags
- excessive use of plastic straws
Now while we certainly can not expect Thais to turn down their a/c or, god forbid, even turn it off, Thailand agreed on eying the plastic bag issue. That’s not the first time that someone focuses on that topic though. And where did it lead us to? Exactly. Nowhere. Thailand acknowledges that and therefore has another, more jaw dropping idea. “The old saying ‘If you can’t beat them, join them‘ inspired us to look into that direction” – one office spokesperson stated on Facebook.
Therefore Thailand is now not trying to stop plastic bag usage or production anymore since it deems campaigns like those of the Gourmet supermarkets (“if you don’t take plastic bag on Thursdays you get a discount”) ‘stupid’. Instead Thailand will now produce more plastic bags and subsidize new plastic bag factories all across the land. The office responsible for that move hopes to produce enough plastic bags to contain every single ‘thing’ (“alive or dead” – office spokeswoman) within in plastic bags to avoid those ‘things’ to pollute the country (and the planet) any further.
“Many people complain that supermarkets or 7-11 stores give out to many plastic bags. Even for single item purchases” – the office spokeswoman states. “We don’t think so”, she continues, “we will produce and give out more bags and we will not stop until we contained every single living (or not living) thing in our country.” “And”, she adds, “since it is 2018 now, we will also force, I mean convince, our AEC partners to do the same. With plastic bags from Thailand though. This will benefit our GDP as well. We’re so smart!”
A bag for you, you, you, you and you!
Inspired by famous motivational speaker and leadership idol “Opaaaa Winefryyyy” (office spokesman) everybody will not only receive plastic bags but also being held responsible to bag (that’s a verb in Thai language as of now) everything. School trips, for example, will still go to the beach but instead of cleaning the beach from plastic trash (a very common activity for school trips until recently), school classes will now be forced to bag everything they see into single plastic bags.
“That also goes for every single grain of sand and every single drop of ocean water” an official statement on twitter reads. “Bagging” everything into plastic bags shall be one of the major focuses on the 2018 agenda in the land of smile (which also need to be bagged btw. – via the ‘bag your smile’ campaign).
This exceptionally outstanding campaign is seen as major change in the fight against global warming. According to the Thai office in charge the goal now is not to fight global warming anymore but to simply be faster than global warming. Hence we also do not need to save on air conditioning. If we increase the air conditioning we can keep the air colder, prevent our people from transpiring and hence have them bag more stuff into plastic bags. It’s a win-win-win circle situation (yes, that’s how it will be promoted on plastic posters all across the region).
Thailand is confident to lead the world into a new environmentally unchallenged era and already invited ‘a few smart men from around the world’ to learn about this new concept. Among the first visitors will be Donald Trump, Xin Jinping and Kim Jong-un.
Confronted with facts and examples of how people are actually cleaning the world (e.g. the Ocean Cleanup Project) Thailand responded with “we will soon also bag all their water and air into plastic bags and then we’ll see who laughs last”.
As always Thailand also promotes the whole campaign with a nice emotional ‘viral’ video (bless you) and the appropriate soundtrack. This time it’s a cover version of ‘leaving on a jetplane’.
All our plastic bags are packed, we’re ready to go.
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