During the last semester, I was assigned to create a project. Any kind project that can raise awareness about anything. First thing came to my thought was “Nightmare and Depression” because it is directly related to me. I am not ashamed to say that I’m depressed and also have bipolar disorder. You can all me an attention seeker, a freak, or anything but you can not change me by stepping on me. I’m still depressed. And, for those people who think “you’re depressed? So, Stop being depressed and try to deal with your problem,” Depressed people want to be happy like other people too. “We” want to smile and laughing from the bottom of our heart too but there is something wrong with the chemicals in our brains that does not allow us to be “Normal.” Usually, depression is in genetic. The unbalance of cells called neurotransmitter substances in the brain is the main cause of this symptom.
In this stressful society. We all have nightmares. No matter if you are an adult or a child. But, sometimes nightmare could be a sign of depression. It cause negative emotional stress which culminates in a nightmare, and eventually triggers nightmares more frequently.
“Results show that 3.9 percent of participants reported having frequent nightmares during the previous 30 days, including 4.8 percent of women and 2.9 percent of men. Frequent nightmares were reported by 28.4 percent of participants with severe depressive symptoms and 17.1 percent of those with frequent insomnia. Further analysis that adjusted for potential confounders found that the strongest independent risk factors for nightmares were insomnia, exhaustion and the depressive symptom of “negative attitude toward self.”I have been experiencing with nightmare since I had to study for entrancing my college. I never have a sweet dream since then. I saw my leg got cut so deep that I can see my bone, I saw my dad burnt alive and screaming in pain, I heard funeral casket calling me, I see a “non-human man” begging for my life in my dream and a lot more. I woke up with tears almost every day. I was suffered from that feeling. Who on earth would enjoy waking up depressed. I rather woke up feeling flawless like Beyonce’s song. I never notice that this have to do with my depression condition. Actually, I never know that I’m depressed until my friend told me to meet psychologist and get some medication.”
-American Academy of Sleep Medicine-
I also used to have nightmare every night since I started to prepare myself for college. I have been experiencing this for 4 years. I saw my dad burnt alive, I saw my leg cut so deep that I can see my bone, I heard casket calling for me, and I saw a “non-human man” calling for my life and hypnotized me in my dream. There’s a lot more but our brain can not remember every dream we had. I used to wake up every 2 hours. But, what stopping me from seeking help is fear of being judged by the society. I’m afraid that people might think of me as an insane young girl, so I kept it as my secret. Meanwhile, depression started to grow within me, attaching to me more and more. Now, it’s hard to get rid of it. And, this is the problem of our Thai society.
Doctor Paweena Paepanit, kids and teenagers psychologist from Nakhon Phanom Ratchanakarin Psychiatric Hospital, gave her opinion about Thai media and Thai society on Thaihealth.com. There are many Thai people who think those people who meet psychologist are bonkers. Thai movie and series usually send the bad guy who gone mad to psychiatric hospital and creates uncomfortable surrounding in there, treating patients like they are second class citizen. In reality, not every people who meet psychologist are creepy, insane or bonkers. Depressed people are normal too. They are not the emo kid like what were shown in most of the movie. This is how media influences Thai society. While in American movie, it’s normal to meet psychologist, In Thai movie only insane people meet psychologist and show conversation about meeting psychologist in negative way. Usually, characters will reply with “I’m not insane!” when someone suggests them to seek help.
The reason why depressed people don’t want to ask for help, which is obviously a bad decision because they are afraid to be called an attention seeker. There are many friends of mine call depressed person “idiot.” My techer said those who want to commit suicide are weak and weak people don’t deserve to live.” These are the real sentences heard from people around me. There are too many depressed people committed suicide already, even the super-star people. There is something wrong with the chemical in their brain and there can’t help it. I’m not saying that there is no attention seeker. This is all I got. The rest is up to you, readers, whether you will be the start of the change in the society or not.
However, from my perspective, I’m afraid that this isn’t because of Thai media influencing Thai society. But, because Thai society cannot separate what is real and what is for entertainment. Maybe the director intention is to show that bad guy will not have a happy ending. Turn out that, we are afraid of meeting psychologist. I created this blog because I want to tell Thais that it is OKAY to seek help. I was once afraid too. But, if you care about what society thinks about you, it will worsen your mental health condition. Do what you have to do. Not what society allows you to do.
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