Living off topic 

How the Game of Thrones characters would fare in Thailand

Game of Thrones got us all glued to the goggle box (or google box – check ‘how to watch GOT in Thailand‘ here) every time a new season comes around. Now while we’re coming closer and closer to the great war (in GOT as well as IRL it seems) I thought it would be interesting to see how our beloved or most hated characters of GOT would fare here in the Land of Smiles. The predictions are solely focused on what happened on the TV shows and not on the books (trying to avoid spoilers). Moreover the focus is on characters that survived the main part of the show, so you won’t find Ned Stark here even though he’s the most meme’d character of the show but one doesn’t simply name characters that died in the first season. So without further ado, let’s have a look at how the Game of Thrones characters would have fared in Thailand and what their careers might have looked like would they have lived in the Land of Smiles.

Missandei

Missandei game of thrones
Missandei game of thrones

Let’s start the list with everybody’s favorite ex-slave turned Mother-of-Dragons-Trustee. Missandei has one big advantage that would certainly help here in Thailand: She looks fantastic. As we all know, as long as you look good, you can even saw people into parts and still take smiley selfies with police officers. So in this regard Missandei would already be on the safe side. Moreover she’s a talented translator which means she should be able to learn the language rather well and hence could even find some success as foreign youtube star doing stunts in Thai as this seems something that ‘kids these days’ enjoy.

Expected career path: “Net Idol” & primary school teacher (for the work permit) based in Bangkok.

Daario Naharis

Daario Naharis Game of Thrones
Daario Naharis Game of Thrones

The next ‘hot’ accomplice of Daenerys. And what was said for Missandei certainly also fits for Daario. He would have amassed a fanbase among Thai girls within no time and his IG would be full of love messages and marriage proposals. The only problem he could face might be that his emotions might get the best of him and acting too emotional could get you into hot water here as it is always important to ‘safe face’ when interacting with others in Thailand. Moreover Thai officials, which are mostly men, aren’t always as keen on handsome farang guys as they are on attractive girls. Nevertheless I’d expect him to do well here due to his looks and the commercial power of young hiso girls in Thailand who would rush to buy tickets to his movies, follow his IG or do whatever else he’d tell them to do.

Expected career path: Lakorn actor & advertising model based in Bangkok. 

Tormund Giantsbane

Tormund Giantsbane Game of thrones
Tormund Giantsbane Game of thrones

Tormund now, unlike our two first entries on this list, doesn’t have the looks that would make him an instant hit here in Thailand. He would have to fight for his success and that is, according to what we have seen of him so far, exactly what he excels in. You could easily leave him somewhere in the Thai outback (e.g. Isaan) and you wouldn’t need to worry about him, he would survive. He might be a bit lost when coming to the big city of angels and would need some guidance not to get lost in Soi Cowboy (or around Silom Soi 1, who knows) or even in hell’s kitchen, Pattaya – if he can survive those distractions though, he should be doing ok here as long as he adheres to my tips on fighting sweat in Thailand.

Expected career path: Father of 13 & construction business owner in Udon Thani

Brienne of Tarth

Brienne of Tarth game of thrones
Brienne of Tarth game of thrones

Similar to Tormund, Brienne doesn’t have the looks that Thais would consider to be attractive which would have her to work for whatever she would want to achieve. They way she always tries to make the right decisions and cares about the well being of others would indicate that she would make a great High-School or College teacher but knowing the educational system here, she might also be rather disappointed and disillusioned within no time. I would imagine her being all optimistic upon arrival and a few weeks of backpacking but once she settled in to her job as a teacher and had to deal with the upper class parents of her students and having to put up with lots of %**@& she might quit and pursue other paths. Maybe more down south on one of the islands where she could also make use of her fighting skills (PTT, are you listening?!)

Expected career path: Female self defense instructor in Phuket. 

Melisandre

Melisandre game of thrones
Melisandre game of thrones

The witch that uses her body to seduce guys to get what she wants. “Wait”, you might say, “don’t we already have enough of them here in Thailand?”. Away with all your dark sarcasm, I say! Melisandre certainly did lots of things nobody should be proud of and she changed her mind (ok, she ‘read’ signs wrong) more than once but she always pursued what she thought was right and would lead to the best possible outcome. Whether or not her thoughts and decisions came about under the influence (of whatever) doesn’t really matter. She was able to amass quite a following, people that believed her every word. With such a talent I could see her easily finding success here in Thailand as some kind of spiritual, tantra loving, leader of some kind who, thanks to her growing following, would quickly become famous and build connections to famous / important people that would help her to become even more successful.

Expected career path: Spiritual leader on Koh Phangan.  

Jaqen H’ghar

Jaqen H'ghar game of thrones
Jaqen H’ghar game of thrones

A man has no name. That fits perfectly for a foreigner’s life in Thailand as, being farang, will mostly lead to locals mispronouncing and misspelling ones name. He obviously would have no problem fitting in as he could become anyone he wanted. The question is, would he be happy here always changing his profession and looks? Then, on the other hand, most foreigners just look the same to Thai people anyways so he would’t even need to try hard to hide his identity.

Expected career path: ESL teacher in Rayong

Bronn

Bronn game of thrones
Bronn game of thrones

Bronn is a weird kind of guy. At first he seems to be the guy who fights for everyone who could pay him but as time moves on he tries to the right thing more often than not and sees the good (or bad) in people he interacts with. A hired, highly skilled foreigner, that knows his way around? Sounds like he could survive in every kind of setting, even while swimming with the sharks. Therefore he might be suitable as investor / consultant in the shark tank like start-up world here in Southeast Asia. He’s one that can adapt but also close deals and let go when need to.

Expected career path: Angel Investor based in Bangkok

Samwell Tarly

Samwell Tarly game of thrones
Samwell Tarly game of thrones

Oh Sam! The quiet savior that we all somewhat hope to play a vital role in the happy ending that we’re all rooting for. The question though: How would such a nice, polite, friendly guy would fit here into the Land of Smile? Would people just use him in order to benefit themselves? In the end everybody might think so but when the going gets tough, Sam gets going. While others think they use him, he will outsmart everyone. #SamFTW

Expected career path: Introvert tech business owner

Varys

Varys game of thrones
Varys game of thrones

The manipulative Varys would certainly have gained enough experience in hiding in the background while still making his moves count and steering life his way. He would fit perfectly in to the darker areas of smiley and sunny Thailand. I could even see him having a similar job to what he did in the show. He might work as a ‘manager’ in a bar in Pattaya while consulting gangsters and brokering deals between different people of all kinds of life while gathering an impressive amount of valuable assets.

Expected career path: Pimp & match maker / deal broker in Pattaya

Sandor Clegane

Sandor Clegane game of thrones
Sandor Clegane game of thrones

The Hound. Former sworn sword of King Joeffrey who carried out the most monstrous of acts in the name of the former monarch of King’s Landing. After his demise The Hound tried to make the best of his situation and after almost dying when fighting with Brienne of Tarth, he changed his view on life and when being nurtured back to health, after witnessing the massacre of the brotherhood that helped him, decides to join the brotherhood without banners and to go up north. So how would that work out in Thailand? Missionary? Nah, they’re all weird here. But maybe a volunteer up north (how fitting) in the mountains? I could see that work.

Expected career path: Full-time volunteer in the hills of the North

Theon Greyjoy

Theon Greyjoy game of thrones
Theon Greyjoy game of thrones

Theon had a very tough life so far. And that is one heck of an understatement. From a Stark ward to a traitor to a captive and weirdo to heir of the Iron Islands and one of the leaders of a fleet sailing for Westeros. Theon has seen and done it all it seems so what is there for him to do in Thailand? Haunted by inner demons, looking for revenge and righting his wrongs – or running away from them. This basically screams disillusioned foreign private English tutor.

Expected career path: Private English Tutor in Nonthaburi

Bran Stark

Bran Stark game of thrones
Bran Stark game of thrones

Bran, the next quiet hero on the list. Unlike others however, he’s got what seems to be magic powers. He is the three eyed raven and thanks to his powers can go back in time and witness and alter events that took place long ago. Unfortunately for him, he is crippled which is definitely less fortunate here in Thailand as people with disabilities don’t receive the best of treatments here. Bran however seems to be able to take care of himself (with help of his friends) rather well which leads me to believe that he would find a way to make life in Thailand work. As Thailand is pretty famous for its medical holiday trips this might also be a possibility for Bran to take in order to regain his ability to walk. With him still being young and smart he could also easily further his studies which would make getting a visa much easier until he found the right area of work to focus on (which could be in academics afterwards).

Expected career path: Foreign scholarship exchange student  and patient at Bumrungrad Hospital, Bangok

Jorah Mormont

Jorah-Mormont game of thrones
Jorah-Mormont game of thrones

Jorah Mormont the spy turned loyal Daenerys soldier whose field smarts helped shape Daenerys’ army and decisions early on. He later got infected by a deadly disease while on his journey and had to try to find a way to cure it. This just sounds like an old army vet coming to Thailand to have some more ‘adventures’ while also passing by BNH once in a while to get check out and see if they find something to make him feel better. Over the years he certainly earned enough money to live on a retirement visa here in Thailand while pursuing his passion for adventures (and finding his true love).

Expected career path: Retired army vet in Hua Hin

Petyr Baelish

Petyr Baelish game of thrones
Petyr Baelish game of thrones

Little finger! The sneaky old bastard who seems to always get his way by manipulating everybody around him. He obviously fits well together with the Varys and I would imagine both of them running several scam shows and trafficking businesses together here in the land of smiles. He knows who to bribe and who to intimidate and always has the right connections handy. He’d be living a fantastic life here in Thailand, until he would eventually fall of a balcony in Pattaya.

Expected career path: Night club owner & godfather in Pattaya

Arya Stark

Arya Stark game of thrones
Arya Stark game of thrones

The girl without name that follows strangers around. Hm. Sounds a bit like a human trafficking case (see little finger above) but as time moved on she became strong and independent. Her parents were murdered and she is stuck on a journey back to her home as well as on a journey to finding her true self. If this doesn’t scream NGO social worker, then I don’t know what does. Troubled childhood, left home early, experienced difficult times and now tries to right the wrongs in the world (ok, and getting some revenge). Welcome to Thailand, Arya.

Expected career path: NGO social worker based out of Mae Hong Son.

Sansa Stark

sansa stark game of thrones
sansa stark game of thrones

The bitch turned strong female (second) lead who also tries to do what is right, since this is what her family stood for. She’s not as naive as her sister anymore, sees the world as it is (a bad place) and is willing to play games with the devil in order to further her interests as they are or the better of the people. Similar to Arya she had a rough (understatement) childhood and upbringing and now tries to use her power and abilities to revenge those who got wronged. Just like a good human rights lawyer would do.

Expected career path: Human rights lawyer working with UNICEF based in Bangkok. 

Jaime Lannister

Jaime Lannister game of thrones
Jaime Lannister game of thrones

The asshole from season one developed into something way more interesting and intriguing as time passed and now even seems to feel remorse what he and his family have done to their people. He is now, more often than not, the voice of reason when talking to his sister. Nevertheless he still stands by her side, for now, and tries to keep the Lannister name alive while also, somewhat, doing what is right. This sounds like the right attitude for a political news reporter. Lots of parties when coming to fame, then being humbled by what he witnessed on the field and now trying to report and help while still standing by the regime that brought him up.

Expected career path: Political field reporter based out of Singapore.

Cersei Lannister

Cersei Lannister game of thrones
Cersei Lannister game of thrones

Cersei. The synonym for all that is evil in GOT.  She rose to fame thanks to her family’s wealth, became the leader her country, treated the people badly and now holds on to the iron throne as tight as possible while the rest of the country already hates her and suffers under her reign. Who does that remind you of? I don’t really know either. :P

Expected career path: Exiled lady based out of Dubai. 

Tyrion Lannister

tyrion-lannister-game of thrones
tyrion-lannister-game of thrones

The widely regarded smartest member of the Lannister family. Often underrated, barely taken serious, but always on top of most situations with the ability to see the bigger picture and connecting with the right people at the right time. Tyrion barely gets surprised, has been everywhere, survived a lot of BS in his life and is used to being overlooked but still making things work in his favor. He also loved to enjoy the sweet companionship of certain female entertainers but that seems to now be behind him as he keeps focusing in the greater good of the country he lives in while educating everyone around him and urging them to do the same while also becoming better persons.

 Expected career path: Academic / Uni prof in Bangkok

Jon Snow

Jon Snow game of thrones
Jon Snow game of thrones

The guy who knows nothing. So basically every backpacker entering the country. Ever. You know nothing is also similar to a phrase most foreigners in general have to listen to while being in Thailand. “You’re a foreigner, you don’t know how Thailand works”. Yet, Jon Snow is still very much at the center of attention and tries to steer the fate of the country he lives in into the right direction by fighting for the greater good, saving what is left of his family and sacrificing himself when necessary. He quite likely is one of the main parts of the Song of Fire and Ice.

Expected career path: Website publisher, author, speaker

Daenerys Targaryen

Daenerys-targaryen-game of thrones
Daenerys-targaryen-game of thrones

The mother of the dragons is not only insanely hot (triple ha!) but also the Ying to Jon Snow’s Yang. The fire to the ice. At least so it seems. She came from the bottom (well actually more from the top and a rich family but got sent away and then had to marry a barbarian who she then fell in love with after being raped) and now she’s here. Close to doing the impossible, toppling the Lannister in charge, taking King’s Landing and ruling Westeros. A strong, independent, young, attractive woman. There’s no place for such people in Thailand one might think. However, when we remember how she ascended to power and how she gather more of it, it was always by playing the weak woman, as this was what the men in power, in classical patriarchies, were expected to see. Once the men felt secure, she would strike. As icing on the cake: She obviously has Targeryen blood as she is a direct descendent which means her family used to rule Westeros which doesn’t make her a foreigner, but a citizen of Westeros. Therefore she wouldn’t need a visa to work there (as if someone with three dragons would ask for a visa).

Expected career path: Aspiring politician on the way to being elected PM before she gets killed because all ‘good’ characters in Thailand GOT have to die. 

night king whitewalker game of thrones
night king whitewalker game of thrones

What do you think about those prospects? Do you agree? Disagree? Did I forget anyone? Shout out in the comments and let me know how you think the GOT characters would fare in Thailand. 

Sascha Funk

Founder / Editor at My-Thai.org
Sascha is the publisher of my-thai.org and switched from an online marketing agency life in Europe to a teaching and education life in Thailand. He also writes about Teaching & Technology.

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