Living TIT 

5 ideas that would make Thailand safe again

Thailand is trying hard to make itself a safe place for its loyal citizens. Recent news stated that foreigners coming to the country should be tracked via special SIM cards since we all know that only foreigners are bad people and bring terrorism. #GottaTrackEmAll. In another effort in order to increase national security authorities seem to discuss to ban Pokemon Go. The epidemic that brings even gamers out into parks and the open. That’s clearly dangerous and needs to be fought. Bitcoin has been effectively made illegal via lots of illogical restrictions to it so that there’s no chance of anyone doing ‘bad’ things with this new high tech stuff that nobody (in charge) understands. Safety first.

Now I think those are all some very valid approaches of course but we could do more to make Thailand an even safer place! Here are 5 ideas that would decrease bad foreign interactions and increase positive Thainess all around.

Extra: Only check foreigners’ bags at BTS security desks. Oh wait, we’re already doing that. Good on you, Thailand!

5. Have foreigners wear an armband with a dedicated sign on it that indicates that they are foreigners. This way foreigners are even easier to spot and can be held responsible for any wrong doing. It also will avoid foreigners feeling too much at home or adapt to Thai style. We all know foreigners aren’t able of doing that anyways. By spotting foreigners easily you can avoid getting touch with those bad western ideologies. Granted, the idea is not completely new, but Thailand loves the dude who came up with the idea in the first place.

4. Have foreigners use public transport at the back of busses & trains. Again this will help to spot foreigners more easily and avoid the mixture (and possible loss!!!) of local culture with those weird ideas that come from abroad.

3. Use RFID chips to keep track of foreigners and their movements within the country. Just make it mandatory that all foreigners, when getting their visa, get a RFID chip implanted. In the neck. There’s lots of fat (foreigners have more fat than Thais anyways!) and hence it won’t hurt much. One little injection and bam! Country safe.

2. Build a wall. A wall could keep unwanted foreigners out more easily and increase the ease of border controls. Others want to do that (and did it in the past) too. This is always a great idea. I promise. It’s great. Really great. Believe me.

1. Make foreigners leave their fingerprint at every transaction. Thailand had the great idea to have Thais leave their fingerprints on their voting ballots when they voted on the referendum. This was not to track Thais but so they could take pictures with their inked fingers and share awareness for the referendum, they said. Sure. But we could also use that approach to make Thailand safer! Have foreigners leave their fingerprints every time they purchase something. No matter what. A car, hotel room, cigarettes at 7-11. Have them leave a fingerprint every time they do or buy something. This will not only help you to track them but if you also force them to share pictures of their inked fingers it will boost local business since they will get social media marketing for free. Isn’t it fantastic? Win-win-win situation.


[image credit: TopTenz]

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