No matter your job, standard of living or purpose of staying here in Bangkok, there are a few achievements that everybody needs to accumulate before he / she is able to call him or herself a real Bangkokonian. Here is our list of those achievements. Feel free to wear the badge that reflects your achievement with pride and honor.
Surviving a Motorcycle Taxi accident
We all take motorcycles or at least motorcycle taxis. Even if you work in a fancy office and don’t want to get your suit dirty, at some point everybody tries to beat the traffi jams and ends up on a bike and, let’s be honest, those bike rides aren’t always the safest. Doesn’t really matter if it’s you on your own bike or on the back of a ‘motorsai taxi’, at one point traffic is going to get you. Once you get up after that Motorcycle accident, wear those scars proud because you made it! Those are the scars of a true Bangkok Traffic Warrior. #BKKTrafficWarrior.
If you survived a Motorcycle (Taxi) accident, this is for you!
Making Bangkok the center of everything
Continuing with our #realtalk we can probably all agree that, at least to some extend, we all make Bangkok somewhat the center of our universe. Everything in the city of angels is rather ‘easy’ to do and reach and hence trips to provinces outside of the capital feel like trips to far away countries. This becomes pretty clear when talking to fellow Bangkokonians who often refer to everything outside of Bangkok as ‘countryside’ and call a trip to Hua Hin ‘far’. Moreover we tend to call cabs for trips that could also be done walking or with public transport simply because it’s way more convenient (even though it doesn’t safe much time because of traffic). Besides that, at some point, we also master the art of ordering food / goods without actually talking to the staff by just nodding at them. Because #hiso.
Learning to adapt and survive
Here in Thailand we still live by the mantra ‘only the strong survive’. Especially when it comes to traffic. Hence crossing an eight-laned street without a pedestrian crossing or traffic lights, just by nodding your head, takes skill (and balls). By now you mastered the art of street crossing and don’t even need to plug out your earphones or take your eyes off your LINE messenger on your phone as your gut feeling guides you through honking cars, queueing trucks and racing motorcycles. That is why you certainly deserve this badge:
Know where to get your late night street food fix
Wet Wet Wet said it best when they sang “I feel it in my fingers, I feel it in my toes,
love food is all around me, and so the feeling hunger grows.” – Or at least that’s what I hear, especially when getting hungry at night. Which is when one usually gets hungry. Then you got two chances, either you go downstairs to your next 7-11 which is probably around 120 meters (for American readers: Learn to use the metric system :P) away from your doorstep or jump on a motorcycle and head to your favorite street food vendor. The fact that you actually have a favorite street food vendor, know his name and that he already knows what you are going to order once he sees you will let you know that you are eligable to wear this specific badge here with pride. You know your vendors, you know when they make their ‘good stuff’ and you know what they specialize in. Some shops are great for Guay Dee Aow (lek, of course!), others for Khao Man Gai. Some are fantastic Som Tam sources while others give you the best Ga Pow Gai Kai Dao. Having all this down shows that you truly are Bangkokonian and that you don’t have to shy away from calling yourself the #BourdainOfBangkok.
Everybody. EVERY. SINGLE. BODY. whil make 5968730252983 references about Bangkok and the things they’ve heard about it. While you’re pissed at all those stereotypes and cliches (the world’s your oyster, hangover, etc.) you rise to the ocasion and certainly are able to show your guests a pretty good time. You know how to get to Khaosan without getting cheated on by a taxi driver, you also know that the “Hangover Rooftop Bar” is not necessarily the coolest rooftop around, you’ve been to the “ghost tower” at night to show your guests something ‘special’ and you know where to send your friends to “enjoy” a ping pong show while you’re chilling at you favorite Starbucks because that’s the only place to find solace and quietness away from the craziness that you will experience once again as soon as you take your friends to Silom or any of the buzzing nightmarkets. So it doesn’t matter if party, adventure or culture, you got it all, you’re the local lonely planet, and you’re not even Richard Barrow. Congratulations, you are allowed to wear this badge and be proud of it!
Once you have collected all those achievements mentioned above, you’ll be eligable to earn your “True Bangkokonian” badge. All you now have to do is to swear to honor and defend it, as my-thai.org is your witness. Go ahead, Bangkok Jedi, you deserve it.
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